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For most of the country... Fall is here! Football has started, kids are back and school and pumpkin spice lattes are back! Here in Iowa, Sweater Weather is still weeks away. I start out wearing a sweater in the cool, crisp morning, but the day ends with a muggy 85-90 degrees. By the end of October, I will most likely break out the heavy winter coat!
Research shows, married couples who regularly date, are less likely to consider divorce, more likely to have more romance and report better sex lives, communicate better, and enjoy marriage more! So we have decided to challenge you to AT LEAST one date a month!
Do you have regular date nights? They are so vital to a healthy and happy marriage! We suggest AT LEAST a monthly date night, weekly preferred.
Ways to Nurture Gratitude in Catholic Marriages:
Studies show the important role gratitude plays in a healthy, happy, and holy marriage! The Date Night challenge for November is to make sure that gratitude is built within your marriage!
Either go out for a dessert or meal or stay home and wait until the kids go down, pour yourselves your favorite beverages. Be sure to dress up for one another, even if you are staying home. Try one of the following ways for your date night this November:
Daily Prayer of Thanksgiving for our Marriage: taken from CatholicMom.com:
"Dear Most Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thank You for the profound gift of the Sacrament of Marriage. Thank You for the magnificent gift of my spouse whom Your perfect providence planned for me from all eternity. May I always treat him (her) as royalty, with all the perfect honor, respect, and dignity he (she) deserves. Help me to be selfless in my marriage, to pour everything out for my spouse at all times, holding nothing back, expecting nothing in return, but recognizing and being grateful for all he (she) pours out for me and our family every day, and it is much! Please strengthen and protect our marriage and all marriages. Help us to pray together daily. May we trust You completely in every way, as You deserve. Please make our marriage fruitful and open to Your most perfect will in the privilege of co-creating and nurturing life. Help us to build a strong, secure, loving, faith-filled family, the domestic church. Dear Most Blessed Virgin Mary, we confidently entrust our marriage to your care. Keep our family always under your mantle. We have complete trust in You, Lord Jesus, that You are always with us, and are constantly seeing to the very best for us, bringing a tremendous good out of everything, including the crosses you have permitted in our lives. Dear (spouse’s name): You and I are one. I promise I will always love you, and always be true to you. I will never abandon you. I will lay down my life for you. With God and you in my life I have everything. Thank You, Jesus. You are the ultimate “Pourer.” We love you." Print your own copy of this prayer and read it together.
Rose, Thorn, and Bud: Do you ever do a daily examen of sorts with your spouse? It may be helpful to check in with one another each night before bed and say your "Rose, thorn and bud." Rose represents something that went well that you are thankful for. Thorn is something that was hard or bad that you may need prayers for, and bud is something you are looking forward to. This is an excellent tradition to start during family dinners each night (or in the car in between evening practices!)
Journaling Together: Are you someone who may need more time to reflect on what you are thankful for? I encourage husband and wife to have a gratitude journal/daily check in. The journal entry can read: What are you thankful for today? What went well? What do you need prayers for? Pass it back and forth daily or weekly.
Celebrate Feast Days and Special Sacraments: It is a very Catholic thing to FEAST! Feasting and giving thanks should be bonded together. Take the Mass for example; it is both a feast and celebration of the goodness and generosity of God! Observing feast days, anniversaries, baptisms, offers moments to remember and give thanks for blessings in your family’s spiritual life.
Acts of Service: Practice giving back together as a family, whether it's volunteering at a local shelter, helping at church, or offering help to neighbors. Serving others cultivates empathy and appreciation for what you have. During your date, decide when and where you will serve as a family.
Family Gratitude Ritual: Start a tradition like a "gratitude jar," where family members write down things they’re grateful for throughout the year. Read them together on Thanksgiving or another special family day. Do you do something like this each year?
Encouragement of Thankfulness in Spousal Relationships: Make a habit of expressing thanks for each other’s efforts, both big and small. Whether it’s taking out the trash, preparing meals, or acts of kindness, acknowledging these efforts can strengthen the bond between you.
Ask one another-Do you feel I appreciate you and what you do for us? Why or why not?
Is there a way I can do better at appreciating you.
Here are some date night tips:
Be sure to dress up for one another and look our best! It's worth the extra effort!
Be sure to pour out love to your spouse in their preferred love language. If you do not know their love language, that can be the first thing you do on your date: Take the free Love Language Quiz!
I'd love to see pictures of your date night! Use the hashtag #catholicdatenightchallenge if you post on social media!
Use the discussion prompts below during your date night
Catholic Date Night Discussion Prompts:
During each date night, consider adding these discussion questions to kick off conversation:
Give Thanks:
Tell one another what you are most thankful for about one another.
If you have kids, go through each of your kids and discuss your favorite thing about them. Consider telling your kids your favorite thing about them.
How is life going for you this fall so far? Are you excited for Thanksgiving celebration? Why or why not?
Have you felt loved and appreciated by me over this last month? Why or why not?
What can I do to love you better?
Do you have any prayer intentions I could pray for over the next month?
What has been your favorite memory or thing that happened over the last month?
What was the worst thing?
What is one thing you are looking forward to in the coming month?
Before the date ends, be sure to schedule your next date night together!
Going Deeper Ideas:
If you are looking to grow deeper in your faith with your spouse,
Consider reading the same spiritual book and talking about it in the evenings or every Saturday morning. Here are some suggestions (these are affiliate links with no extra charge to you-thanks for supporting our ministry!):
Another area for study together could be the Holiness of Sex within Marriage. Read through and discuss the blog post I wrote on the subject based on a talk Matt and I gave at a marriage retreat.
Free Resources for Catholic Married Life
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to schedule regular date nights. We suggest AT LEAST monthly date nights, preferably weekly. To foster this habit, we will write a monthly challenge with a Catholic Date Night Challenge! This challenge involves Catholic Date Night ideas for each month as well as some questions to ask one another.
Mary wants your marriage to be good, holy and healthy! Bring your marriage to her and for her prayers! I wrote this workbook to help you pray for your marriage!
How to Create a Prayer Routine as Husband and Wife: Praying together is one of the best things you can do for the health of your marriage and for the spiritual growth of your children! No matter if you have never prayed with your spouse or if you want to shake up your current routine, we wrote this $5 download to help married couples find a prayer routine they love!
We want to support your Catholic Marriage and Family Life however we can! So check out www.jumpincatholic.com and subscribe to receive a free resource called 5 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage and Family Life!
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